Chapter Three: FORGIVENESS
When I was in the sixth grade, lip gloss was in for young ladies. Most of the girls coated their lips with the substance, and their lips glimmered like freshly polished glass. Included among the habitual lip gloss users was a young lady whom I will give the name Angel, since I do not want to embarrass her. In addition to having lips that reflected sunlight, Angel was extremely sweet. The more I got to know her, the more I thought that she was definitely the sweetest girl at Columbia Elementary. She and I even danced together to a song from “Grease” at the sixth grade dance.
We both went to the same junior high, but we did not have any seventh grade classes together. However, we usually saw each other once a day as we passed in the hall between third and fourth periods. We always said “hi” to one another. Sometimes I would even wink and she would smile. Looking back, I cannot believe how many times I winked at Angel. How embarrassing.
And both Angel and I attended the quarterly junior high dances. I liked to dance, but I usually spent most of the time walking around looking at everyone rather than dancing. But I did ask Angel for a dance when a really cool song would be played, usually my sole dance of the event.
Then there was Valentine's Day. The night before I made a Valentine's card for Angel out of stationary. There was a butterfly over a nice blue background on the cover, and I wrote “Happy Valentine's Day” on the inside. When we passed each other at our usual spot in the hall, I stopped in front of Angel to hand her the card. And can you believe she had one in her hand for me. It was a cute drawing and said that she thought I was neat. So Valentine's Day was wonderful for me, but I did not take steps to further our relationship. I just kept winking and saving my single dance for her.
In the eighth grade, Angel's parents put her into a parochial school, and I sure was surprised to learn that she would no longer be attending our junior high. But for my eighth grade year, my locker was only a few lockers away from her closest friend from my junior high. I would ask her how Angel was doing, and she would tell me.
Then came the night of a junior high orchestra concert. I played the violin, and I was positioned in the chair behind the “first violinist” in plain view of the audience. The night of the particular concert, my whole family was running late in getting prepared for the concert. We had dinner late and then people were rushing around. Orchestra concerts were one of the rare occasions when I would wear a tie. Not knowing how to tie one, my dad was the person who always tied one on me. Yet I was far from that stage since I could not find my dress pants.
I only owned two suits, and only one fit. The one that fit was a tan corduroy suit, with a matching vest and pants. The other suit was the manly color of light blue with matching pants, both of which were too small. The only occasions I had ever worn that light blue suit were for a few Easter services when the family had engaged in the novelty act of going to church. I needed my tan pants, yet they were nowhere to be found.
Though I asked my mom to help search, she soon said that we had no more time to look for the pants. Under duress, I attempted to put on the light blue pants by blowing all of the air out of my lungs and sucking in my stomach. I somehow managed to get the pants on my body, and I felt a sense of accomplishment being able to zip up and button the pants. But the feat was briefly relished. Standing in my room in my light blue pants and my tan corduroy jacket, I did not look cool. I knew that sitting on stage, the pants would be “high-waters,” rising far above my brand new dress shoes. Everyone attending the concert would clearly see me in the front row. I was upset.
Since family members were not ready to leave, my mom decided to drive me the long distance to the school immediately, since I had to be there about an hour before the concert started. She then was going to return home to get the rest of the family. Mom did not say much in the car as we drove along in a light rain. I was already late, and my orchestra teacher usually scolded late comers, because she liked to take her time tuning every person's instrument so that each individual was in tune with the group as a whole. Then she had us practice the rough spots in each piece before we hit the stage.
Mom drove off as soon as I was on the sidewalk, and I quickly walked to the side door that I entered every morning. It was still drizzling, and my new leather shoes had zero traction. As I quickly approached the door, the smooth soles hit the wet metal grate that was on the ground in front of the door, and my feet went out from under me. I smacked into the ground and hit my elbow. This may sound dumb, but you need one elbow to play the violin. And my violin case made a thud as it hit the ground, with a lingering muffled note of F sharp. My violin was surely out of tune. I think I said a bad word. Then I went to open the door. It was locked.
Walking around the side of the school in the light rain, I was mumbling to myself. Marching in the front entrance of the school, I quickly went towards the hall that I needed to go down. Then, as I looked up, there in the junction between the main hall and my side hall was Angel. She was standing next to her friend, smiling. This is difficult for me to say, very difficult even all of these years later, but I gave her a sour look, and then I walked right past her and went down the hall. I did not even say “hi.”
I really tried to play well that night, thinking that Angel might be there. Afterwards at the reception, Angel was not there. That evening turned out to be the last time I ever saw her. This story does not have a good ending.
The evening of that orchestra performance, I had numerous reasons for being upset. However, I never had a single reason to be upset at Angel. Though not upset specifically with Angel, I sure acted that way, and that is what she surely thought. Here was someone who liked me, who came to a concert to see me. Yet she came at a time when I was caught up in myself, especially how I looked. Being so caught up in myself, I not only was unable to talk to the girl I loved, but I even hurt her.
The reality is that all of us have done things in the past that have hurt other people, and all of us have been hurt by other people. Hurts inflicted and received both resulted from wrongdoings, thus we all need forgiveness and healing. Yes, we all need forgiveness and healing. First I address forgiveness, doing so by explaining why God’s plan involving the cross.
I said in chapter two that God wants us to have eternal life because He loves us, and He provides that gift. Now I expound on that gift, which involves forgiveness, by saying that the gift is available at the cross. If talking about life, why do I present a sign of death? A sign of death is exactly what a cross was two thousand years ago. Ever hear the expression, “When in Rome, do as the Romans?” One of the things the Romans did was to get rid of rebels and criminals by executing them on a cross. And that is exactly what was done to Jesus, even though He was not found guilty of a Roman crime. Jesus was crucified on a cross. So where is the life and love? The love is in the simple fact that this was God's plan. If you think death does not sound like a keen plan, read on.
The death of Jesus is too horrible to fully comprehend. Preceded by a horrible beating, Jesus was not only tied to the cross, but pierced with nails through His hands and feet. With a crown of branches containing thorns placed on His head by Roman soldiers, blood dripped from His head as he slowly suffocated on the cross. To use a general word, I will call the death of Christ on the cross violent. For God to have this violent death as His plan may seem contradictory because He hates violence.
I know God hates violence since Genesis reveals this fact, showing how God was grieved by people during the time of Noah. One reason was because there was much violence, which stemmed from the bad tendencies of people's hearts. God decided to flood the earth to curb the violence and other wrongdoings. But people dying by drowning is violent by my consideration. And does not all death entail violence, even if only to a slight degree? Yet people encounter death for one clear reason. You find it in Scripture, including in Romans 6:23 which states; “For the wages of sin is death…”
A route that leads to death is the path all people were on, since all people have sinned, doing what is apart from the righteous will of God. Jesus, who was and is perfectly good, completely without sin, took the path of physical and spiritual death, suffering the spiritual consequences in place of anyone who would receive His love. Physically, we remain on a path of physical decay as our bodies are deemed mortal by God due to sin. But spiritually, God offers us salvation. The reason salvation comes from believing in Jesus is because of who He is and because of His sacrifice of physical and spiritual death.
God promised the Jewish people with prophesy that He would send a Messiah. And the Son of God came, called Immanuel, which means “God with us.” So God the Son was right here on earth. Yet Jesus, righteous, ministering in this fallen world, evoked anger from many people whose devotion to wrongdoing was exposed by Him. People then wanted to kill Jesus, and He was even betrayed by one of His friends.
Yet the betrayal did not bring an end to Christ's ministry, because God knew what would happen all along. God’s plan was for Jesus to die on a cross, an act that He deemed the single way by which people could be forgiven of sins. Death was due people because of their separation from God and their sin, yet Jesus became the substitute. In love, Jesus took the sins of people upon Himself on the cross and died. The result of sin is death. Jesus died for people as the ‘atoning sacrifice,’ with His substitutional death making amends for the wrong people have done. The result of Christ’s death is available spiritual life, which He has offered since being resurrected and reunited with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit. Yes Jesus was resurrected from death on the third day. After rising from the dead, He talked with friends and even ate with friends. Then Jesus returned to heaven, where He had originally come from.
Every person whom God has created has been made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). God is Spirit (John 4:24), and people have been created with a spiritual nature. People have souls, the unseen spiritual core of every human being. Thus people have the ability to receive love and give love. Like the soul, love is unseen, yet the effects of love can be seen. Life for the soul is only realized by the possession of pure love. Eternal life for a soul requires permanent true love.
So does the death talked about in Romans 6:23 have anything to do with a person's soul? Yes. People physically die due to the effects of sin. Yet the term death as referred to in Romans 6:23 concerns spiritual death, lifelessness of the soul, which takes place if there is permanent separation of a soul from God.
A “scientific conservation law,” a statement supported by human experiment and observation, is that “matter is neither created nor destroyed.” For example, the matter of a physical body exists after death, though the matter of that body disperses and takes a much different form after death and decay. But this scientific principle does not take into account spiritual truths which cannot be observed by humans. Scripture reveals that God can create new matter (Genesis 1:1 and Revelation 21:5), and that God can destroy matter (Matthew 10:28).
Yet Scripture does not contain exact details of the condition of a lifeless soul that is permanently separated from God. A soul might retain a united form, even if dead, if that is the way God created a soul. Fortunately we do not need to dwell on details of a soul separated from God since God does not want us focusing on spiritual death. We do need to realize the realistic consequence of sin, which is hell and spiritual death.
What a blessing that God wants us to focus on life, since life is God’s desire for us! Life can only be created and renewed by God, and life is only sustained by God. Eternal life is offered, and the way to receive this unimaginably great gift is by faith in Jesus (Ephesians 2:8). Jesus is the offer for the forgiveness and end of sins, and salvation comes by God’s grace through faith in Jesus. This day God offers eternal life to people who will accept His gift. Sin blocks love, but the transfer of sins to Jesus, who suffered the consequence of them, makes it possible for you to have pure love permanently in the heart of your soul. The second part of the Romans 6:23 verse reveals this offer; “…but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Before giving my heart to Jesus, I was told a few true facts about Jesus which I believed, and I recognized God reaching out to me on several specific occasions. On several Christmas Eves and Easters, about eight times with friends, and for a few months before I gave my heart to Jesus, I heard a few Bible verses read in churches along with sermons. And I did that small amount of reading of the Old Testament. Also a few people had witnessed about God to me in the way they lived their life, such as a co-worker in college who once expressed to me his opinion of the immense value of the Bible. I did not get to know him real well, yet I noticed the caring way he lived his life.
In addition to hearing the few facts about God, I was exposed to many distorted facts about God and followers of Jesus in my youth. Much literature about Christians I read in school portrayed children of God as uncaring or mean, and music lyrics I listened to told nothing of God’s love, and often gave a distorted portrayal of love. And before I even understood the difference between people of specific denominations and a “Christian” in general, there was one college student who made a bad impression on me. One night during my senior year at Virginia Tech, there was a guy from my hall who was talking with me in the computer lab. He made some terrible sexual comments about a nice woman who was also in the computer lab. He was one of the few “religious” people on the hall, and he was very proud to be a member of his denomination. After that night, for a time, I had a negative view of people of his denomination. Fortunately I learned not to judge a group of people based on individuals. Yet that incident goes to show how much influence a “religious” person can have on someone who is not a Christian. I thought much more highly of that woman, who was sweet to me after I stood up against the “religious” guy who had degraded her.
Yet I think the key reason I was hesitant to get to know God better was I did not want to give up my “self-centeredness,” failing to consider I was not the person in my heart God wanted me to be. In school I was considered “square,” people often wrote in my yearbooks that I was a “nice” guy, I became an Eagle Scout, I had a reputation for being “moral,” and I considered myself to be good. But my heart was not right, my heart which I held such control over. I did plenty of wrong actions, not truly loving God or people, and even hurting myself. Really, I was spiritually dying. Before being in a loving relationship with Jesus, I gained a belief, which I kept private, in the existence of God and that Jesus was the “Lord,” after He reached out to me in several specific ways throughout my years of youth. I began to pray to God, not listening, but talking to Him, and that was a good start. I was on a journey of faith, and God gently worked on me constantly and patiently as my desire to know Him increased. The result was that I gave my heart to Jesus.
I encourage you to take your wrongdoings, your hurts, your entire self to God in prayer. Talk to God about whatever you want to. Then listen some. Jesus is God the Son who endured death on the cross to remove sins, sins which separate people from God. Receiving Jesus brings to your heart life as you receive the love He has had for you all along. You are loved by God, and to receive that love, you must receive Jesus.
Concerning the issue of physical families, I do not know the specifics of your family situation now, and I might not be able to relate to what you are going through if I did. I do know that you come from some sort of family, yet you are an individual, and every human being is responsible to God for himself or herself. Even a five year old who has put finger paint in her sister’s hair is not accurate in telling God; “God, my finger paint move was an action that can be solely attributed to poor parenting.” No. Even that five year old needs to go to God and say, “I'm sorry.”
I can easily look back to my relationship with Angel and reflect that the quality of my life might be better if I would have come from a better family. Then I would have had more suits, and better ones at that, plus a mom who would have had me prepared hours before every event. Then I could have strutted into my junior high looking prime, prepared to plant a big kiss right on Angel’s shiny lips. But in junior high, I never asked my mom to take me out to buy a new suit. I hated suits and I avoided the whole subject. The nice suit I had, my mom purchased for me when I was not even present at the store, and she had to estimate my size. I think she even bought two, and then returned the one which did not fit. I made mistakes, but God is even willing to take from me my regrets as I live in Christ.
(Photo copyright randyhofman.com. Used by permission.)
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23). All sins have the consequence of physical and spiritual death. Jesus was the substitute for those consequences. A favorite story of mine: "A young woman was picked up for speeding. She was ticketed and taken before the judge. The judge read off the citation and said, 'Guilty or not guilty?' The woman replied, 'Guilty.' The judge brought down the gavel and fined her $100 or ten days. Then an amazing thing took place. The judge stood up, took off his robe, walked down around in front, took out his billfold, and paid the fine. What's the explanation of this? The judge was her father. He loved his daughter...." (McDowell 114-115).
Jesus loves everyone. He paid the penalty for all people with His life. Then He was resurrected and lives evermore. You have the choice to receive the gift Jesus offers. To receive the gift of eternal life, you must believe in Jesus the Christ (Messiah) (John 11:25-26).
Truly believing in Jesus results in being cleansed of sin, and receiving His Spirit into your heart. Jesus Christ died for you. That is true love. If you believe in Jesus, Love will dwell in your heart forever.
