Wednesday, July 30, 2014

My Parents Are Divorced - Chapter 2 - Forever Family



Chapter Two:   FOREVER FAMILY
   My first Christmas following the separation of my parents was rough.  In the early afternoon of Christmas Eve day, my mom told me I had to spend Christmas somewhere else besides home due to a family problem.  Mrs. Craige, the mother of two friends, had told me several times in the past to come over some time to spend a night with my friends and the family.  I found myself on the phone asking Mrs. Craige if her invitation stood on Christmas Eve.  Mrs. Craige did not hesitate in her response.  She said the family would truly enjoy having me spend the Christmas holiday with them.  I later learned that after she got off of the phone with me, she immediately sent my two friends on a Christmas Eve shopping spree to get presents for me.
   My Christmas with the Craige family was nice.  Spending Christmas morning with everyone opening gifts was special.  My sole gift to the family was two boxes of chocolates which I had quickly purchased at a drug store before I was dropped off at their house.  When the family unwrapped those two boxes of chocolates, they all acted as though they had received a tray of gold coins.  That made me feel good.  Presents from the family to myself included one item that I still use today.
   Christmas day continued as we played putt-putt around the house with an indoor golf set.  I was even there one more day, and my friends and I did many activities together.  However, as much trouble as every single member of the Craige family went to in order to ensure that I had a nice time on Christmas morning, I had a empty feeling in my soul indicating that I was a guest.  Had things been right with my family, I would have been having Christmas with them instead.  The Craige family was a special family, truly, but they were not my family.
   When parents divorce, the dynamics of that family changes.  Numerous new problems can result, and problems of parents continue to affect the children.  Some people have had visitation difficulties.  Then if a girlfriend or a boyfriend enters the family situation, parent-child relations can become even more strained.  I have heard various scenarios where the living situation became unstable, miserable, or even dangerous.  For some, problems seem to increase by the week with no end in sight.


   (Photo copyright randyhofman.com.  Used by permission.)   

   So if a person lives in a family, and the circumstances are horrible, then a person may deduce that the smart thing to do would be to scratch any family relationships.  Why not just forget families?  The reason is that God has a purpose for families.  He put people in families for a reason and does not want us to forgo family relationships because of what has happened with our parents.  God wants us to care about family relationships, not living in turmoil, but not abandoning concern.  Yet love is needed for such care.  Thus the starting point for blessed family relationships is examining an invitation into God’s forever family.
   God offers an opportunity to every person to realize joy as a permanent member of His family.  Before I talk about this new family that is available for you, which may sound really foreign, I need to briefly discuss the source of this revelation, so you can understand the legitimacy of such a claim.
   When I was a student at Virginia Tech, I minored in “Communications,” and a professor for a communications history class once talked about how the Bible has been the most published book in history, yet it is also the least read book.  That fact perplexed me.  Why would people be inclined to purchase a book they did not want to read?  So I give you an invitation here to read the Bible anytime for yourself, rather than only reading what I have to say about the Bible.  I have the upmost conviction the Bible is accurate after years of studying Scripture.  And your conviction will have to come from your own heart.
   The Bible means “the Book,” yet this term was not used within the Bible or by early Christians.  Scripture was a word they used, and it meant “sacred writings.”  In John 1:14 it states, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”  So we know that the Word came from the Father, who is the subject of this chapter.  And the Word referred to here is Jesus!  He is the subject of the next chapter.  Yet the Bible is often referred to as the “word of God,” with a lower case "w."  That is because it contains revelations from God.  2 Timothy 3:16 teaches the Bible is inspired by God.  Thus Scripture is a witness of the grace and truth of Jesus Christ, because Scripture was inspired by the Holy Spirit.  And thus Scripture is true, containing revelations from God along with the inspired witnesses of men.  God's purpose with Scripture is to bless to all people with the knowledge of the mercy and grace of God, which we all need for eternal life.  God wants us to learn that He truly loves us!
   So I encourage you to rely on the Spirit of Christ to guide you as you read the Bible, the Book inspired by God and written by people.  It requires proper interpretation, which even involves literary genres, which I learned about in my “Interpreting the Bible” class at Colorado Christian University.  I briefly discuss interpretation at:
(http://hunter-ntintro.blogspot.com/2014/11/what-should-be-objective-of-biblical.html), and there are many books on this subject.
   I do encourage you to discover for yourself the historical accuracy of the Bible.  I share one personal experience to encourage you, of where I applied faith and learning to gain conviction of the accuracy of Scripture when there seemed to be an error.  I recall mulling over an issue which seemed to be a clear Biblical discrepancy one evening as the sun was setting when I was living in Grand Junction, Colorado.  Four Bible authors recorded a phrase written on the sign the Roman governor had posted on the cross upon which Jesus was crucified.  None of the phrases by the four authors are completely the same, though all four are similar, and all four contain “the king of the Jews” as a part of the phrase.  Automatic discrepancy?  Relying on peace from God that evening in prayer, I continued on in faith that the Bible is accurate.
   Years later, I flipped through a paperback book in a Christian bookstore entitled Difficulties in the Bible by R.A. Torrey.  He gave a valid explanation in chapter eighteen regarding the apparent discrepancy.  (Note I have since read that entire book, and I think R.A. Torrey can be insightful, but I have some disagreements; for example he believed there was a pre-Adamic race which dwelled on earth.)  John 19:20 states there were three phrases on the sign on the cross; one written in Aramaic, one in Latin, and one in Greek.  The phrase the governor wanted posted was probably translated or written slightly different in each of the three languages by whoever actually did the writing!  But that still leaves one statement which should match one of the others.  Yet Mark specifies he is identifying the “charge” put on the cross.  He was not necessarily identifying exactly what the sign read.  So what seemed to be an obvious contradiction is no discrepancy at all, and there is definitely no discrepancy concerning a message from God.
   So back to the forever family offer!  What does God want for you?  Right after God created people, read what His first act was towards people: “God blessed them…” (Genesis 1:28).  The plan of God in the beginning was to bless people, and remains so.  Yet if God wants to bless people, why are so many things a mess?  This question needs to be examined.
   The “Garden of Eden” was a place where the first man and woman lived after they were created by God.  This garden was a physical place on earth, as the Bible gives detailed description of the rivers that developed from Eden, and the places where they flowed.  Unlike any place I have seen, the garden was strewn with a variety of life.  Breakfast could simply be plucked from a tree, just as I have seen people do on an island of Samoa.  Besides pomegranates and figs, a rainbow selection of fruit was available, possibly including papayas, mangoes, and cherries.  Animals surrounded the garden of God, provided with food in the encompassing fields.  Tame animals may have frolicked through the orchards, and milk from a cow did not have to be processed.
   Yet key for us to understand is the spiritual purpose of God within the garden.  In the middle grew “the tree of life,” a unique tree with a symbolic purpose from God, and a designated spiritual aspect.  A person who ate of the tree would live forever (Genesis 3:22), which is what God enabled.  God told Adam that he and Eve could eat from the “tree of life,” and eternal life was the gift He offered.  But Adam did not choose that gift.  Instead, he and Eve chose to engage in the single act that they were instructed against doing.  God told Adam not to eat the fruit of “the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,” another tree with designated purpose.  But Adam and Eve did eat that fruit.
   To dispel two common misunderstandings about what Adam and Eve did, know that their wrongdoing had absolutely nothing to do with apples or sex.  Their wrongdoing had to do with disobeying God, engaging in what they could not handle.  The result was that Adam and Eve had to leave the Garden of Eden where the “tree of life” was.  The long term consequence of Adam disobeying God resulted in a separation between God and people.  Separated from God, the hearts of men and women were filled with inclinations to do what is wrong, termed sin, which causes death.
   The first two children of Adam and Eve were two boys named Abel and Cain.  Do you know what happened to those two children?  Cain murdered his brother Abel.  The first family on this earth experienced a murder tragedy, and that was because of wrongdoing by Cain.  Yet even before the murder, Scripture shows God was directing the family of Adam and Eve to give Him a proper offering as a payment for sin, because God was making people aware that sins could be amended by Him.  God had the perfect plan for the unification of people with Him.
   Following the murder between the first two brothers in human history, violence rapidly increased on earth.  Rather than putting an end to the tragic actions of people by permanently cutting off all of His creation, God sustained the human race, working for people to become united with Him.  God’s plan for forgiving sins continued to be patiently unveiled by God throughout many generations, fully revealed and fulfilled by the Messiah.  God fulfilled His constant plan to bless people with eternal life, by the atonement for sins by the Messiah.
   So in addition to giving a person life in the present, God’s plan offers a person eternal life.  God has created all life, and He also sustains all life.  Being with God permanently is the single way for a person to know eternal life.  Eternal life – that is what I really want you to think about here.  Though we are unable to go into a spiritual garden planted by God, God has made Himself available to you now, whoever you are and wherever you happen to live.  Because of God’s love, you can receive what He originally offered to the first man and woman, which is eternal life.
   Eternal life fits into the subject of family, because eternal life is known in the family of God.  Scripture reveals God’s plan to bring people into His family.   The ‘Lord's Prayer’ is a prayer that people say as a group in many churches.  Found in Scripture, the person who taught this prayer was Jesus, as is recorded in Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4.  Note the two separate prayers are a bit different, showing that the exact wording is not what is mandatory when you pray.  In Matthew the prayer starts out; “Our Father, who art (is) in heaven, hallowed be thy name.”  The beginning of this prayer reveals much about the family that people need to be adopted into for everlasting life.

   Here God is called "Father," and that name automatically suggests a family. Some folks have a bad impression when it comes to the person of a father.  Maybe your earthly father has hurt you.  Maybe your father is not around much.  Maybe your father never expressed love to you.  But you were created to have a dad, and not only one on earth.  Please believe me when I say that God the Father is Love.  This Father wants what is best for you.  That may sound trite, but it should be considered.  If you are upset with your father, it may even be harder to believe that this Father even cares for your dad.
   Even if your dad is marvelous, you both need the Father also.  The Father is not a substitute for earthly fathers; rather earthly fathers are given by God in addition to mothers and everything else He gives.  God gave every person an earthly father, even if that father was not united in marriage with the mom or was not there to support in the raising of a child or children.  Needing a dad is not a childish thing, it is a natural thing.  Not only is God the Father a natural need, He is a mandatory need for goodness.  And God the Father is always available to turn to.
   In speaking of the Father, the pronoun “our” in this prayer needs to be addressed.  A person who is in communion with the Father is in His family.  I recognize that it can sound strange to join another family.  Just as the Craige family was not and is not my own family, you may think the family with this Father is not really your own.  But unlike other families which God never intended for us to be in, God desires for people to be in the family of God.  Ponder for a moment as to whether or not there is a longing in your heart for the family of your Creator, even though the concept may sound foreign on the surface.
   Then, the ‘Lord’s prayer’ specifies that our Father is in heaven.  Since He is in heaven, and we are here, that means we cannot look at Him sitting in His favorite chair and say, “Dad, I want a snow cone!”  The reason we cannot see God is not because He has been lounging on an island in the South Pacific.  God is omnipresent, which means He can be everywhere at once, but remember there was a separation.
   In the garden, Adam and Eve were in the presence of God.  An example is from Genesis 3:8.  “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.”  Had they not sinned, rather than hiding, they could have run right up to God and gone into His arms.  But since the separation, no human has been in the complete presence of God.  But God has been and is present with certain people to an incredible extent here on earth, as will be seen when I talk about Jesus and the Spirit.
   Though none of us humans can see God, if a person accepts the spiritual bond offered by God, that person becomes a child of God.  Separation at this time for a child of God is only physical and quite temporary.  A child of God is destined for a permanent home, which is heaven.  One day all children of God will see the Father face to face.  My Father is in heaven, and that is where I will dwell when my journey in this world is over.
   Next in the first line of the ‘Lord's Prayer’ is “hallowed be thy name.”  A definition of hallow is “holy.”  The name of the Father is good and sacred.  This is important since the name of the Father matches His character.  If talking to the Father, you are talking to the Holy God.  In the case of people I know, a person's name does not give you any indication of what kind of character that person has.  My name is Hunter, yet I have never been hunting.  My name is meaningless, or even misleading to others unless a person knows me and applies the name to me.  Even if I did hunt, you would know something I do, but not my character.  Yet when Scripture refers to the "Father," it is referring to God, who is loving and perfectly good.


(Photo copyright randyhofman.com.  Used by permission.)

   Jesus taught the ‘Lord's Prayer’ to the disciples, not only to repeat, but to think about.  When I think about the first line, I am struck with awe about God who is a perfect Father, and who wants to adopt people, even people who do not care about Him, into His family.  God created people, and God’s desire is that people choose to be with Him.
   Now some may respond, this "family of God" is really just a bunch of "Christians" who are as divided and dysfunctional as everyone else.  Indeed, love may not be immediately apparent in a “church.”  Maybe you have visited a church, and no one even talked with you.  And if you are not a Christian, you still may be aware there are numerous “denominations” which do not even have much to do with one another.  Maybe you do not sense much love in churches.  Yet love in the family of God always starts with God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  It is His love which binds the family of God together.
   People who have received the love of Jesus, adopted children of God, have the love of God in their hearts.  We all still sometimes sin.  I have done some things that hurt brothers and sisters in Christ, and brothers and sisters in Christ have done things which have hurt me.  There is often a need for people to repent and apologize in the family of God on earth.  But in the family of God, through the terrible mistakes, along with the wonderful support, the family is growing closer together as individuals grow closer to God.  I have seen that.  As I have written in my journal many times, “The perfection process is a painful process, yet the perfection process leads to goodness.”  People who have entered the New Covenant with Jesus are people who are consistently being changed by God in His love.  People who follow Christ are made to be more like Christ, with a complete transformation taking place when with Christ in heaven.
   God has worked and continues to work to bring people into one joyful family, His own.  The Bible states, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God” (John 1:12-13).  How Jesus makes adoption possible for you into God’s forever family is what the next chapter shows.