For those who read my blog: Thank you!!

   Thanks to each and every one of you who reads my blog!  I give my all when writing for this blog and it means the world to me when people are blessed by my writing.  Thank you to everyone at "Blogger" who make it possible for me to have this blog.  And this year I added the incredible "Google Translate" to my blog, so people who speak various languages other than English are able to read my work.  I thank the people at "Google" for providing this service!  I am excited to see when people from countries far away from my own are reading my blog.  Jesus loves all people in every country and of every ethnic group.  And a follower of Jesus is called to witness Jesus in whatever country he or she is in.  In some countries this is extremely challenging, or even dangerous, and requires God's guidance and encouragement.  First and foremost when living as a witness, be yourself, using the gifts God has given to you, all in a reliance in your heart on Him.

  God bless you,

  love in Jesus,

  Hunter

Magi

Matthew 2:1-2     After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews?  We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him” (NIV).

Matthew 2:9-12     After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.  When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.  On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him.  Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.  And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route (NIV).

   This year, the United States Postal Service issued a Christmas stamp called “Magi.”  A silhouette of three men on camels, the style is similar to the 2012 Christmas stamp which had a silhouette of Joseph and Mary and baby Jesus.  I like the stamp!

  Who were the Magi?  “Magi” are only mentioned in one passage in the entire Bible, which is Matthew 2:1-16.  That passage also tells about King Herod, the reason I did not quote the entire passage since Herod’s story is a whole other historical examination.

   Scripture informs us that first, Magi came from one country (Matthew 2:12).  That country is not named, yet it was in the “east” (Matthew 2:1).  Secondly, they saw his “star” (Matthew 2:1).  Thirdly, their purpose in traveling to Jerusalem was to worship Him (Matthew 2:1).  And they did worship the baby Jesus (Matthew 12:11).  They were able to carry out their purpose!  Lastly I add they gave the baby gifts, as many are familiar with, since it is a staple of the Christmas story and the famous song “We Three Kings.”  Many children even know what the three gifts were.  I add the Bible does not say how many Magi there were, and I suspect it was probably a small crew since they traveled such a distance.  And were they really kings or wise men?

   “Magi” comes from the Greek word “magos,” and in the NIV is translated as such only in this passage.  And for this passage, many other reputable Bible translations use “wise men.”  Vine gives one definition of magos as: “denotes a Magian, one of a sacred caste, originally Median, who apparently conformed to the Persian religion while retaining their old beliefs;…" (1)  Yet he adds magos under sorcerer: "one of a Median caste, a magician…," (2) and also says the word is used in the Greek in Acts 13:6 and 8 to denote sorcerer.  So according to Vine, Magi as traditionally translated in this passage is tied to a people, and the name of the people has roots in sorcery.  So who were these people?

   From a rock cut “Behistan” monument carved on a cliff near Ecbatana, scholars have some public statements of Darius, King of Persia from 521 to 486 B.C.  For a seven month period before him, there was a Median ruler which King Darius discusses.  Yet not only was this short lived ruler a Mede, he was of the Magi tribe!  King Darius states he was a “Magian,” and even states his name was Gaumata. (3)  Darius tells of how the Magian was an imposter who snookered the throne by claiming he was Smerdis.  Darius admits he was involved in killing the Magian.  I add that Darius goes on to tell about a Babylonian revolt.

   Herodotus talks about Magi.  Likewise Herodotus states two Magi brothers snookered the throne by proclaiming the identity of the second brother as Smerdis, son of Cyrus and brother of Cambyses.  Herodotus calls the Magi who declared himself king as the “Magus.”  The reign lasted only seven months.

   Previous to the time of King Darius, Herodotus gives information throughout his history about the Magi, such as that they were one of the people groups brought under the rule of Deioces, king of Media, along with Busae, Parataceni, Struchates, Ariaznti. and Budii. (4)  Then Herodotus tells of the Magi serving as dream interpreters for King Astyages: "Astyages now turned his attention to Cyrus, and summoning the Magi, who had previously interpreted his dream, asked them again what they judged its meaning to be." (5)  So the Magi, in serving King Astyages, were involved in a similar duty as the “magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and astrologers” in Daniel 2:2 in the Babylonian Empire around the same time period.

   By now, the Christmas story seems to have officially gone down a wrong path.  As someone who grew up watching shows such as The Little Drummer Boy every December, these Magi, at least there in the fifth century, do not seem like a bunch of noble kings, rather they seemed like a vagabond tribe of Medes.  Yet I think that is the point of the Magi in the Christmas story, even if they did become more noble by the time of the birth of Christ.  I think the point is that Jesus was not presented a fitting and prophetic gift of gold, frankincense, and myrrh from people with a stellar ethnic heritage, a grand kingdom, or, even a righteous relationship with the living God.  Jesus was presented a gift by some eastern Gentiles who were seeking and who were open to what God was doing in this messed up world at that time.

   The lives of Persians and Medes were merged with the lives of Jewish people ever since King Cyrus conquered Babylon, (re-conquered it after it slipped back to self-rule after Astyages’ death I am convinced) (6) where Jewish people were living in exile there in 536 B.C.  The book of Esther shows the extent of Jewish and Persian interaction even many years after Jewish people were permitted to return to Judea by Cyrus.  Many Jewish people did return to Judea, but a number stayed in Persia.  Herodotus seems to neglect this history I add!  And though later on Persia was conquered by Greece, and then that region came under Roman rule, maybe through it all a number of Jewish people in Babylon and scattered amidst many other foreign countries who retained their hope of the Messiah who was to come had shared that hope with Persians and Medes.

   Thus even some of Persian and Median ethnicity were expecting “the king of the Jews.”  These Magi saw the star in the sky, and they knew He had been born since the general time of the arrival of the Messiah was prophesied in Daniel 9:25, and thus known by Jewish people.  The time period prophesied was indeed the time period of Jesus’ birth.  Along with all the prophecy to the Jewish people, God miraculously provided a star to lead, to lead those who were seeking this birth.

   This Christmas story is a prelude of how the Messiah came not only to save the Jewish people, but also the Gentiles, people of all ethnic groups.  God’s purpose for the Messiah was to die on a cross as the substitutional atonement for the sins of all people of all ethnic groups; the human race.  Thus any human being can be saved by the Christ, which is the Greek for the same phrase as the Hebrew word Messiah: both mean Anointed One.  Whatever your ethnic group, whatever you country of citizenship, you will be saved from spiritual death if you believe in Jesus.

Hunter Irvine

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(1) W.E. Vine, Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words: A Comprehensive Dictionary of the Original Greek Words with their Precise Meanings for English Readers (McLean, Virginia: MacDonald Publishing Company, [no date]), 1245.
(2) W.E. Vine, Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words:A Comprehensive Dictionary of the Original Greek Words with their Precise Meanings for English Readers (McLean, Virginia: MacDonald Publishing Company, [no date]), 1074.
(3) William C. McDermott and Wallace E. Caldwell, Readings in the History of the Ancient World (New York: Rinehart and Company, Inc., 1951), 59.
(4) Herodotus, The Histories, trans. Aubrey De Selincourt (New York: Penguin Books, 1954), 48.

(5) Herodotus, The Histories, trans. Aubrey De Selincourt (New York: Penguin Books, 1954), 56.

(6) I offer my thesis that King Astyages is Darius the Mede in the blog post on November 12th of 2012.

Golgotha

   "They came to a place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull)" (Matthew 27:33 NIV).
   "They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull)" (Mark 15:22 NIV).
   "When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals - one on his right, the other on his left" (Luke 23:33 NIV).
   "Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha)" (John 19:17 NIV).

   For many years, whenever I read any of the above verses, I had a question: Why is the word “skull” singular?  In a place of Roman execution, skulls would be all over the place if the Romans did not care about burying the bodies of dead “criminals,” some of whom were “rebelling” against the Roman government.  And how many “criminals” would have had a tomb awaiting their dead bodies.  Now bodies may have been removed from the vicinity by the caring Jewish people, yet if that was the case, you would think they would do so uniformly for all “criminals.”  Thus no skulls would be lying around.  Being someone whose gift is not linguistics in any manner, it is interesting this question of the singular “skull” stuck with me for years.
   Jesus was crucified at a place called Golgotha.  There is disagreement over whether the root of Golgatha is Aramaic or Hebrew, (or both), but the bottom line is that we are dealing with a skull here, a single skull.  (I add the word Calvary, from the Latin word for skull, became popular later for Golgotha, which is even the word used in Luke 23:33 in the KJV.)
   After about one decade of having that question unanswered, one day in my favorite Christian bookstore I saw a book by Dr. William McBirnie which I immediately grabbed.  I had read The Search for the Twelve Apostles by Dr. McBirnie in 2003, which became one of my favorite books, since I have such an interest in Biblical history.  So there I was with another Dr. McBirnie book in my hands entitled The Search for the Authentic Tomb of Jesus. (1)
Reading it with a passion, not only was my question about the singular use of “skull” answered to my satisfaction, but I also engrossed myself in that book which I consider a scholarly masterpiece!
   The issue of the book: Where is the site of the tomb of Jesus, and where is the site of the crucifixion of Jesus?  The first remarkable thing about that book is how Dr. McBirnie begins by giving an in depth analysis of the evidence to support the traditional locations, presenting evidence in support of those theories.  I have never read anything by any other scholar where so much evidence was given for the theory he or she was arguing against.  Then he proceeds to give methodical evidence to support his thesis regarding the location of the crucifixion and the tomb of Jesus.  A bus depot has been built in modern times by his proposed location.  Today there are many who advocate this location, but back in 1975, it was hotly disputed, and the location still is scorned by some scholars.
   So what does this have to do with the place of a skull?  Turns out, there is a rock side of a hill near an ancient quarry where there is the resemblance of two hollow eyes and a nose.  If you view recent pictures of it, as I have on the Internet, the face looks rather slight from the common camera angle to the side of the bus depot.  Yet in some pictures in Dr. McBirnie’s book, where he had close access to the area and where pictures could be taken from afar without blockage, it looks more like a skull.  He even had a picture given to him of "Skull Hill" which was taken in the 1800’s.  And it may have looked much more like a skull in the first century!  Granted the eyes could have been formed during the past 1900 years, thus maybe it did not look like anything during the time of Jesus.  Yet since much solid evidence is presented by Dr. McBirnie supporting this site aside from the whole skull issue, I became convinced the rock formation was the basis for the name Golgotha, a conviction which some scholars have had for years.
   This all came to mind this summer as I looked at a picture of one sand sculpture done by Randy Hofman, which you can view below.  (I take this opportunity to express my immense gratitude to Randy Hofman for allowing his art to be used within my book posted this summer.)  In the sculpture displayed below, Jesus is on the cross and two skulls are lying on the ground.  Whether Golgotha got its’ name from skulls lying around, or whether it got its’ name from the rock formation, which I really advocate, the result on Golgotha was that Jesus was crucified, and then put in a new tomb in a garden (John 19:41).  The location of that garden tomb is near the site of execution according to Dr. McBirnie.  I really recommend that book!
   Praise be to God, the history does not all end with a Roman crucifixion in Judea.  The unfathomable suffering of Jesus does not end in the death, leaving only a legacy of memorial birthday celebrations.  And the tragedy of God the Son being unjustly condemned as a criminal and executed does not result in catastrophic revenge upon mankind.  The crucifixion serves a purpose which only God could bring from the ultimate tragedy.  Jesus was the Substitute for the consequences of sins of people, which is spiritual death.  The purpose of His death on a cross was to make forgiveness possible for people.  Then Jesus was resurrected.  The stone in front of His tomb was rolled away there in a rock hillside which today is near a bus depot.  The body was gone.  And Jesus in the wake of His resurrection was seen by people, many people.  We human beings still experience suffering and the horror of physical death.  Yet that death is not the end.  Spiritually, there is life for the person who has been saved by Jesus.  Believe in Jesus, and you will be saved and have eternal life.
   John 11:25   Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.  Do you believe this?” (NIV).
Hunter Irvine


(1) William Steuart McBirnie, The Search for the Authentic Tomb of Jesus 
(Montrose, CA: Acclaimed Books, 1975).

(Photo copyright randyhofman.com.  Used by permission.)

THANK YOU RANDY!!!

What should be the objective of Biblical interpretation?

   A quote by Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones regarding the intention of Biblical interpretation: 

“…I do feel constantly the need to warn myself and everybody else against becoming so immersed in the mechanics of Scripture that we miss its message.  While we should be concerned about the harmony of the Gospels and similar problems, God forbid, I say, that we should regard the four Gospels as some kind of intellectual puzzle.  The Gospels are not here for us to try to draw out our perfect schemes and classifications; they are here for us to read in order that we may apply them, that we may live them and practice them.” (1)

(1) D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Studies in the Sermon on the Mount (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1959), 21.

Is student ministry work a crazy career?

   I have done youth ministry as a paid youth pastor and moreso as a volunteer at various times since 1997.  During that entire time, I have received few compliments, much grief, and poor pay.  Why continue on?  Of course it is a personal affirmation from God to know your calling.  Yet the "evaluations" I get from God which keep me going are measures of success such as is exhibited in the following story.
   Once in a long transition period, I was worshiping on Sunday mornings at the church where I had been the youth pastor about seven years before.  After one routine morning of church, I went to a nearby fast food restaurant to get lunch.  I approached the register and the lady behind the counter said, “Hunter!”  Not recognizing her at first, I looked carefully at her face and then recognized it was a student from our youth group years before.  She was currently working as the manager of that fast food restaurant.  We talked for a bit while no one else was in line, and then she took my order.  After she retrieved the food, she paid for my meal.  Then she walked around the counter to where I was standing and gave me a huge hug.  I was so touched.  That is an example of an "evaluation,” the likes of which have kept me in this seemingly crazy career.  To know there are people out there who were once in rough or disastrous circumstances, yet whom I was able to bless in the love of Jesus is the reason I am grateful to God for my calling.
   I have been searching for ministry employment for over six months, and it has been a downright discouraging process.  If you likewise are searching for ministry employment at this time, I encourage you to persevere this day.  You may end up like me, with plenty of sorrow in this world, yet being in your calling you can still have joy and peace, and you will have treasures in heaven.  In my first youth ministry job in 1997, the head pastor Dr. John Bruington, had a framed quote on his back wall.  It stated: "Ministry work: the pay stinks but the benefits are out of this world."  And there are blessings to people in this world as well, where everything matters so much to God that one day He will judge for everything that people have ever done.  For those in Jesus, they will be righteous in Christ, because of the forgiveness of sins He made available by dying as the atonement on the Cross, and because of the daily sanctification the Holy Spirit works to bring about in the heart of a person who believes in Jesus.
Hunter

Jesus wept

   Jesus wept.  Found in John 11:35, it is the shortest sentence found in any of the sixty-six books of Scripture.  (Linguistics and languages not being my area of expertise at all, I have read that in the original Greek, I Thessalonians 5:16 is the shortest verse, yet verses were designated later on obviously.)  Jesus cried upon reaching the tomb where his friend Lazarus was put after he physically died.  This is not the only Biblical record of Jesus crying.  He cried when approaching Jerusalem before a Passover Feast sparked by His foreknowledge that Jerusalem would be destroyed, as it was in 70 A.D., as is shown in Luke 19:41.
   To think that Jesus, God incarnate, cried, overwhelms me.  God loves people so much He cried.
   My mom told me much about Samoa when I was young, since she had lived there for a time when she was a teenager.  She once told me of how the cultural norm of Samoa in the 1960’s was for the men to cry in public, such as at funerals or when people were leaving.  That was such the opposite of the United States culture, where it was considered an expression of weakness if a man cried in public in the 1960’s, and still is today.  Whatever the cultural norm for the Israelites about two thousand years ago, Jesus cried.
   Physical and spiritual pain and suffering saturate this world.  In response to the sins of all people, Jesus suffered, and Jesus died on the cross as the sacrifice as a substitute for people who deserved spiritual death for wrong doings done against God.  The reason for such suffering by Jesus is that Jesus loves us.  If you believe in Jesus, receiving Jesus as your Savior and Lord, you will be forgiven of your sins because of His substitutionary sacrifice.
   A young friend of mine cried last week.  I look back and realize his crying was appropriate.  There is reason to cry in this world for our own sins and for the sins of others.  We all probably do not cry enough.
   However, the minister in the church where I worshiped with that same friend the next day quoted Revelation 21:4-5 concerning the promise of heaven that all believers in Jesus have, which states: “[God] will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”  Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true” (NIV).
   May we cry now for good reasons while being confident in our hearts that Jesus is going to one day have all of His children in heaven where there will be crying no more.
Hunter Irvine

Journey in the love of Jesus

I long for home in heaven
Where hugs freely flow
Where pain we will not know
Where love will continue to pour out eternally
from Jesus, the Lamb of God,
and will evermore be lived in by all who receive Him.
And on the journey, I am thankful right now for Jesus' true love.
Hunter Irvine

Shalom from Jesus

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you… (John 14:27 NIV).

In my youth, my main activity was Boy Scouts.  I was not a follower of Jesus, though I did have a private belief there is a God.  My family only went to church on a few rare occasions.  I was in a church building most every week however since Troop 150 met in a church in Annandale, Virginia.  We had a premier troop thanks to two extremely dedicated leaders, and I learned much in Boy Scouts which has benefited me my entire life.  After years of hard work as a Boy Scout, I completed all of the work to gain the rank of Eagle minus an interview with an Eagle Scout review committee, and an interview with a minister.  This was back in the early 1980’s, and I think they discontinued that minister interview requirement soon after.  A meeting was set up between myself a minister of the church where our troop meet every week.

Though meeting a minister was foreign to me, I was not nervous, rather prepared to discuss what a good Boy Scout I had been as I approached the finish line.  I was prepared to talk about my morality, and I had come up with some excuse as to why my family did not go to church, figuring he would ask those questions.  Yet he did not ask any such questions, yet he was extremely reserved, and only asked me some questions about my involvement in Troop 150.  He said nothing about God, and he did not pray with me.  It was a short and rather uninteresting interview.

Before the interview, I had to wait a few minutes for the minister to become available.  I stood in the hallway outside of the main office area.  That area of the church was on the other side of the medium sized church where our Boy Scout troop met every Monday night in the Hughes Fellowship Hall, plus the offices were on the second floor whereas the fellowship hall was on the first floor.  I had only been up by the offices once or twice in passing.  On the north side of the hallway was a long window where you could look down into the church courtyard.  Of all of the times I had been at meetings at the church, I had never closely looked at the courtyard.  I sat staring at it out of the window.  I began thinking of how peaceful it looked.  I considered spending time in that courtyard would bring peace apart from the world which has so much strife.  As a sixteen year old, I considered that having access to such a courtyard would bring peace.  I considered that people who work for churches were blessed with an extra opportunity for peace.

Ironically, after following Jesus for twenty-four years, I have been shocked how much strife there is in some churches I have worshiped in; strife which results from disagreements regarding core beliefs about God among various members of a given church.  Genuine peace seems to be lacking in some churches, even if it is hidden under the surface.

And I came to assume church employees have more peace than anyone in the world back when I was a Boy Scout, yet after serving as a youth pastor, I have learned that pastors who proclaim the Gospel and who adhere to the teachings of Jesus can be subject to much criticism since there are some people in some churches who advocate church or denomination traditions over the teachings of Jesus as accurately preserved in Scripture, or people in a church might have drastically different interpretations of Biblical teachings.

And any disputing aside, most pastors have to deal with so many people, I do not see how pastors get much “peace” at all.  In this electronic day and age, a pastor must have to work even harder to escape to a church courtyard just to get a forty-five minute peaceful lunch.

Seven years after that time of longingly looking into the church courtyard, I gave my heart to Jesus, and I began a journey in this world following Him.  And in these years of journeying, I have learned an important lesson; Peace does not come from a place or a situation, rather Peace comes from a Person: Jesus, the Prince of Peace.  Of course circumstances influence whether you are having a week that is more smooth or more rough.  Circumstances are important, and they can be horrible.  Yet true peace is a state of the heart, and true peace can be known even when things are horrible.

I am a student of the Bible, and I know the reason for suffering in this world is because people have been separated from God and because we all do things counter to the will of God.  But I do not know why God allows so much suffering.  It is humbling.  It is a subject where I must simply trust God.  I do know that being unified with God is possible by believing in Jesus.  And I do know there have been times in my life when I have had a peace from Jesus that likewise surpassed my understanding.  Scripture teaches that in the love of Jesus, there is peace.  And the reason why is that Jesus Christ is risen from the grave.  Though crucified on a cross as an atonement for the sins of anyone, Jesus was resurrected on the third day, and He is alive right now.  In glory in heaven, he is also working through the Holy Spirit in the world.  I do not always sense that, yet that is what the Bible teaches.  Jesus suffered more than we can comprehend because He loves all people.  Jesus Christ loves you.  Turn to Him and you will have strife you would not have had otherwise, yet there is disaster you will be spared, starting with spiritual death, and you will always have peace available in your heart from Jesus.  Shalom.  The peace of Jesus be with you today.

Hunter Irvine

My Parents Are Divorced - Chapter 7 - Dream On

Chapter Seven:   DREAM ON

   When Jesus began His ministry work, He preached, taught, and healed people.  In the course of His teaching, Jesus spent much time having discussions with people, and He made many statements about God.  When Jesus would gently explain that He was the Son of God, which was the equivalent of “Messiah,” some people did not believe Him, and they would argue with Him.  On one such occasion, Jesus stated He was God the Son, and explained how eternal life comes through Him.

   Jesus said in John 6:38; “For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.”

   Then Jesus said a few sentences later in John 6:40; “For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”

   After saying these statements, the people listening started to “grumble” about His claim that He came down from heaven.  Then they made a noteworthy statement.

   In John 6:42 they said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know?  How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”

   The people thought they were quite knowledgeable.  We know who your parents are.  We know whose son you are.  We know where you come from.  We know.

   Jesus did come from heaven, and He is back there now.  In addition I assure you that neither you nor I came from heaven, yet heaven is the destiny God desires for all people.  The question is: what destiny do you desire?

   If you come from a divorced family, you may have felt at times that your future was stifled by the sad fact that you come from a broken family.  Even now you might feel as though people could scoff in your face, “We know what family you come from.  What hope is there for your dreams?”  Please know that such a sentiment is a lie.  Where you come from is not the determiner of your future.  Where you are headed is the determiner.

   Where you are headed is tied in with who you are.  On another occasion when Jesus was in a heated discussion with people, He was asked a question which echoes with irony to this day.  The blunt question asked of Jesus in John 8:53 was:  “Who do you think you are?”

   Jesus did tell them who He was.  But they did not believe.  If you believe in Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord, then you can be ready evermore for the question, “Who do you think you are?”  You can know you are a child of God!  And if you are a child of God, you are a person with a Father who wants incredible dreams to come true for you.  By wanting to live by His guidance, you are on a path of realizing dreams, because God wants to enable you to live out good dreams.

   For six years, I spent much time with my grandma.  She is my friend, and I most enjoy when she tells me about her life back in the thirties, forties, and fifties.  She has told of how much nicer the city life was back then.  She has also told sad stories about what happened to people over a half century ago due to sin.  As grandma talks about her youth and friends from her earlier years, she affirms that family problems and divorce in society are nothing new.  As the Old Testament shows, divorce was even taking place thousands of years ago.  Yet in this messed up world, the everlasting love of God is available.  A person in Christ's love has her or his part in His victory, which is everlasting joy and peace.

   So joy in Christ can be your future, and what is past in a divorced family can have closure.  You can realize closure with past occurrences while still recognizing that those bad incidences did happen.  Full closure takes place when you are no longer negatively affected in the present by what occurred in your family in the past.  In some divorced families, many things are left unsaid.  In my family, opposite from acknowledgments and apologies, the issue is avoided.  Rather than getting on a topic that is on a landfill of past problems, many families avoid the subject of the divorce.  It goes back to the withdraw reaction on a corporate basis.  In your family, the subject may be off limits.

   Tears have been shed on occasion as I have written this book.  Truly, it was after I started writing this book that I realized the need to forgive my parents for all wrongs that resulted in their separation and divorce, which I told about in the Introduction.  After talking to God for a long time there on the grass by the library, at a point when I was not saying anything, a university bell close to me tolled.  I knew God had enabled me to forgive them.

   You can forgive your parents and have closure concerning their divorce.  You can be anywhere and talk with God about the situation.  Another good move may be to write down on paper your thoughts and feelings regarding your family situation.  How has the divorce of your parents affected you?  I find writing thoughts in my journal to be an excellent way of expression.  I journal about what I read in the Bible.  Or if I think of some good point, I write it down.  Sometimes I journal about thoughts from the past.  There is an aspect of finality when you get something on paper.  You could put some finality to your thoughts on the divorce of your parents.

   To give an example, I will express some thoughts I have had in the past on the divorce of my parents right here: “The five year separation, which seemed much longer and was terrible, followed by the divorce of my parents, hurt me.  Specific wrongs done by my parents really hurt me.  There was so much hurt done to me.  Because of their separation and divorce that resulted from wrongdoings, I was hurt really bad.  Some actions that were done were horrible.  And I reacted by having much anger over a period of time.  Also, there have been problems with my parents related to their divorce ever since.”

   I sit here contemplating these facts, and I am able to add: “Thank you God for enabling me to forgive them.  I forgive them.  I forgive them for real hurtful stuff done to me.  I love my dad.  I love my mom.  Praise be to You Holy God.”

   Now if this were my private journal, I might go into many more specifics on each statement.  If you have a private journal or diary, you can list some specific frustrations or such, and then you can say or write a prayer to God concerning problems.  When I write down a prayer to God, I draw a cross and then write something to God next to it.  Regarding any wrongdoings, you could say or write a prayer to be enabled to forgive.  If you do not have a journal, simply write on a blank sheet of paper.  You could even write something in this book if you own it, though you may want to keep your statements in a private place.  My suggestion is that, before you complete this book, you write at least one sentence down about how you feel about your family situation.

   When there is closure on many issues of the past, you can give more attention to the present.  And if you know Christ, everlasting good things will be known even if you are experiencing many present difficulties and hardships.  Worshiping God with brothers and sisters in Christ is important, and I have been blessed by experiences on church “retreats” in the past.  But a relationship with God is not something you go all out for only for one hour on Sunday or on a retreat twice a year.  A relationship with Jesus involves receiving God's love daily and acting daily with that love.  A relationship with God is about being in His presence constantly.  We can receive and act with God's love by constantly entrusting ourselves to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

   There is an incident revealed in Luke 2:41-50 which shows that even in the family of Jesus in Israel, things did not go smoothly every day.  When Jesus was twelve years old, the family took their yearly trip to Jerusalem for the Passover.  Jewish men were actually required to travel to Jerusalem three times a year for three different feasts as prescribed in Deuteronomy 16:16.  The Feast of Unleavened Bread, which commences with the Passover supper, goes for an entire week.

   Rather than taking a head count before the return trip, the parents of Jesus assumed He was along with everyone else in their traveling entourage which included other children, and probably relatives and friends.  His parents expected Jesus to be with them, and the family traveled for a whole day until Joseph and Mary realized that their oldest child was not with them.  When His parents finally found Jesus in the temple courts after three days, apparently they did not even yell at the boy.  Mary did tell Jesus that she and Joseph had been anxiously searching for Him.

   Jesus did not follow His family because even though he was young, He knew the Father wanted Him to talk with people in the temple at that time.  And though we cannot know for sure, considering that the wording of Luke specifies the Passover, and not the Feast of Unleavened Bread, I am convinced that Joseph had the family leaving before the final Sabbath day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread.  Also consider the wording of how they were following the "custom" whereas attending the Passover and Feast of Unleavened Bread was a command of the Law.  Joseph should not have left early if he did.  Jesus followed the Mosaic Law however!

   Jesus was not concerned in the least that He had been left by His family of this world, because Jesus knew He was where He was supposed to be at that time, in His Father's house.  But maybe you feel like you are where you are supposed to be, in your house, and yet there in that place you find constant turmoil.  Maybe your house is no longer home.  Believe that Jesus wants you to live with Him in His Father's house, irrelevant of your circumstances in this world.  Turning to God does not mean you are instantaneously transported from your earthly home.  It does mean that you have an eternal Father now, and that you are on a journey home.  That journey involves learning and experiencing more wonderful truths about God which can have an immediate effect in you.

   The parents of Jesus traveled another day back to Jerusalem, and then looked for Jesus for three days.  But maybe the situation is so bad in your house that you feel you could wander off, and no one would come looking for you.  Or maybe you did stray somewhere, or maybe you strayed into something, something that was not good.  Maybe no one seemed to care.  If you did get attention for your actions, maybe you did not get compassion.  But I have good news right here and now.  Jesus has come looking for you, and He not only knows where you are right this moment, but He cares.

   Though there has been a separation between God and people, God has not deserted people.  Just as God continued to offer interaction with Adam and Eve after they had to leave the Garden of Eden, God's desire is to interact with all people.  The Bible records much interaction between God and people.  God continues to intervene in the lives of those who will receive Him.  Jesus knew that you and me, being separated from the complete presence of God, would stray in our hearts away from God.  Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, the Messiah, anticipated by the Jewish people, the Israelites, with whom God kept His promise, came to offer forgiveness and unification.  If you have never opened up to Jesus, know that He is knocking at the door of your heart, still, because He loves you.  Any person who opens the door of her or his heart to Jesus, because of His obedience on the cross, is united with the One who has promised that He will never leave or forsake that person (Hebrews 13:5).

   For those who have been in a relationship with Jesus, maybe you come from a divorced family where things are in such disarray that you have felt there are times when you have been left all alone even though it says in the Bible that God is always with His children. Though God is always with me whether I am by myself or with other people, I have felt as though I was alone.  Yet once you receive Jesus, He will never leave you alone.  The Holy Spirit is in the heart of those who believe in Jesus, even if His presence is not detected.  The Spirit will comfort you when you enter into prayer with God, and God will intervene when you turn anything over to Him.  Believing in God takes faith, and by His grace, He wants you to gain more.  Having faith in Jesus Christ enables us to receive God’s love, to love Him, and to love the people He puts in our lives.

  Good dreams can come true for you no matter what has gone on in your family.  When you walk with Jesus, dreams are between you and God, in the hands of the Savior who wants to guide you to goodness.  Past or current circumstances are not barriers for future goodness for the person who obeys Jesus.  God wants good things in your life.  No matter how bad your family circumstances are, you can have joy if you abide in Christ.

   For us folks who have a tendency to do our own thing, being changed, which includes learning to do what is good while refraining from wrongdoing, is hard.  Yet trusting Jesus and relying on Him leads only to great things.  Going God’s way does not mean your life will be free of problems.  Everyone encounters some problems, and if you follow Jesus, you will have problems that you may have never anticipated.  I have had challenges and hardships as a Christian I never had before.  But in following Jesus, there can be joy in the midst of experiencing those hardships.  And in following Jesus, the hardships that you are spared are countless, I am convinced.  In John 16:33, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

   When I lived in Virginia, I often took a subway to work.  On the way home from work one evening, I was trying to read yet I could not help but hear the conversation of two brothers who sat in the seat behind me and who were speaking loudly.  One brother had moved away from the state he was raised in, and was working in Washington D.C.  The other brother, who was much younger, had traveled from their parent’s home to visit his older brother.  They were talking about different things and then the younger brother asked, “Don’t you get lost sometimes trying to find your way around this big city.”  The other brother responded, “Yes I do.  But I'll never forget how to find my way back to Texas.”

   Without God in this world, your soul is away from the family you were created to be in, and indeed is lost.  With God, you are with the Person who has an eternal home for you with Him.  The family of God is available for anyone, yet we are unable to work our way into this family, since this eternal family is a destiny to be with a Person whom we could never reach by our own effort.  To be united with God, we need to receive the love of Jesus, the One who enables a person to be adopted.

   Recorded in Mark 10:1-12, Jesus had a discussion about divorce with some Pharisees, and then His disciples.  I note that the context of Mark 10:10-12 concerns divorce where there is no marital unfaithfulness, which is an allowable condition for divorce (Matthew 5:32), and that definition includes abuse as I stated earlier.  The context for Mark 10:10-12 is set by Mark 10:3-5, which brings to issue the Mosaic Law where there could be divorce simply due to indecency, as is stated in Deuteronomy 24:1.  Jesus furthered this law.

   Immediately following that passage, there is a passage where Jesus interacts with children.  The sequence of the passages is appropriate and purposeful as God knows that children get hurt by divorce.  Read what Jesus does in Mark 10:16 with the children; “And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.”  No matter what the marital state of your parents, no matter who raised or is raising you, and no matter what your age, you need to enter the open arms of Jesus.  You need to still yourself before the Messiah and let Jesus touch you with His love.  Then you will know the blessing of God.

Hunter Irvine gave his heart to Jesus in 1990.

Hunter graduated from Virginia Tech,

and he graduated summa cum laude from

Colorado Christian University

with a second B.A. in Youth Ministry.

Works Cited:

McDowell, Josh. More Than A Carpenter.

   Wheaton: Living Books, 1977.

Stott, John. Evangelical Truth; A Personal Plea

   for Unity, Integrity and Faithfulness.

   Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 1999.

Torrey, R.A. Difficulties in the Bible.

   1907. Reprint, Springdale, Pennsylvania:

   Whitaker House, 1996.

My Parents Are Divorced - Chapter 6 - Honor

Chapter Six:   HONOR

   Having seen many rock concerts in the distant past by many “legends” of rock and roll, in the late 1990’s I shifted to seeing primarily Christian concerts.  Back in March of 2000, I attended a great rock concert along with over three thousand other folks in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.  After two opening groups, out on stage came the “Newsboys.”  It was a fantastic concert!  One of the best I have ever attended!  Before they performed, a man from Australia came on stage to speak to the crowd.  His Australian accent was so pronounced I had some difficulty understanding him, even though I am familiar with that accent since I had a friend in the fifth and sixth grades from Australia.  The man had only been speaking for a minute when he posed a question to the audience.

   The question the man from Australia asked was, ‘Is there anyone here who does not have a father?’  The entire audience was silent.  The man repeated the question, and then a young lady who was near the center of the stage less than twenty rows back raised her hand.  The Australian man said that God cares for and looks after the fatherless.  He told the young lady that God has good things for her.  Then he had the crowd pass her a free t-shirt.

   The teenager took the t-shirt, and then she turned and embraced her friend who was right next to her.  She cried softly in the embrace of her friend for several minutes.  She also received pats on the shoulder from two other friends during that time. Watching her express feelings in the arm of a friend, I was touched.  That young lady at a concert packed with people was singled out as a person who matters to God.  In the embrace with her friend, many eyes were on a person with plenty of needs, dreams, and hurts in her heart.

   You may also have needs, dreams, and hurts.  You also matter to God.  There are times when you may feel like you are an individual in a big crowd whom no one really knows intimately.  Sometimes you may feel like no one cares about you.  Personally I use to carry around much in my heart that I wanted to express, but often there did not seem to be anyone who could relate, or even anyone who really wanted to listen in the first place.  How about you?  Yet God does care, and God is open to listening about what is on your heart, to the extent of every last detail.  And God has much to tell us also, if we will listen.

   But does God really understand what we are going through?  We are people who make mistakes in a messed up place, and God is God.  How can God relate?  The truth is that God showed He understands because Jesus came for us.  Jesus did not live on earth to serve Himself.  Jesus was on earth to do the will of the Father, which was to help others. For the sake of others, Jesus preached the truth and healed people.  Though doing only what was good, Jesus was hated by some.  Taking the burdens of people in His own heart and being subject to hate caused Jesus much suffering.  That suffering went to the ultimate extent of physical and spiritual death as Jesus took upon Himself the sins of people on the cross.  We cannot fully comprehend the suffering that Jesus endured, dying to offer salvation to any person who would or will receive Him.

   As to whether Jesus can relate to family problems, contemplate who Jesus was as He was raised in a family in Israel.  Scripture states that Jesus was and is without sin (I Peter 1:19).  His nature on earth was that of being fully God, yet He relinquished many of His supernatural abilities as Jesus was also fully human.  Remaining perfectly righteous as a human being, Jesus was not raised in a perfect family.  In fact, had Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, not been open to God's intervention, Jesus would have been born to a single divorced mother, which is explained in Matthew 1:18-19.

   “This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.  Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”

   So Mary and Joseph were pledged to be married, and back then an engagement meant the commitment was already sealed.  Then Mary became pregnant even though she had not had sex with anyone, because she had become pregnant supernaturally by the Holy Spirit.  Joseph is said to have been righteous, yet the context of the word in this passage does not mean perfect, rather a person seeking to do right and known as righteous among peers.  Learning of the pregnancy, Joseph assumed Mary had sex with some other man.  Leviticus 20:10 states that if an Israelite man committed adultery with an Israelite wife, both were due the punishment of death.  Note that the word neighbor in this verse included all Israelites as the context of Leviticus 19:18 shows.

   Apparently those rulers were not following the prescribed punishments of every Mosaic Law, and the Jewish ruling council at that time may have been coming up with their own legislation.  Mary was not in danger of getting a death penalty, but Joseph’s concern was that Mary would be disgraced by the religious rulers. Mary probably would have been publicly disgraced, and Joseph wanted mercy for her.  Joseph decided in haste to take a serious measure, which was to get a divorce.

   The reason Joseph did not seek a divorce is that an angel of the Lord told him in a dream what had really happened.  Joseph did the will of God by remaining engaged to Mary, and by naming the child “Jesus” as the angel said to do.  In Matthew 1:14, Joseph obeyed an angel of the Lord again, leaving their homeland to flee to Egypt with Mary so that the baby Jesus would not be killed by the wicked King Herod.  And before all of that happened, there was the obedience of Mary, a young woman who did the will of God, as her response to an angel from God shows: “‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered.  ‘May it be to me as you have said’”(Luke 1:38).  And in Luke 2:21-24, the married couple followed the Law by taking Jesus to Jerusalem to present the boy at the temple and to offer sacrifice.  The loving devotion to God by Joseph and Mary are shown by these actions.

   Shown the obedience of Joseph and Mary to God, we also are shown those two individuals were not perfect.  That is why Joseph was so quick in his decision to divorce his wife, apparently without even talking with her.  And Mary showed her need for salvation, stating in Luke 1:46-47; ‘My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior…’  Those two individuals, like you and me, made some mistakes, and they also needed forgiveness.

   Jesus loved His earthly parents.  Even in His adulthood, Jesus chose John, the disciple to whom He was the closest with while a human on earth, to take care of His earthly mom after He was crucified.  And there also was honor.  Though Joseph and Mary were not perfect, Jesus was obedient to them in His youth (Luke 2:51).  Because Jesus fulfilled the Law, a child of God has the Holy Spirit in the heart to enable him or her to honor a parent as a unique human being, a command affirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19:19.  God wants honor ascribed to a person’s parents because, first, a fundamental honor for all human beings for who they are as people, created in the image of God, is good.  Secondly, a fundamental honor for parents for their unique relation to their children is good.

   Respect involved in properly honoring parents is what I will term a “corridor of respect.” Such honor is not respect that is based on wrong behavior, so there need not be respect for wrongdoings of a parent!  A “corridor of respect” starts with an acknowledgment that a parent is a parent.  After my college graduation ceremony, I began talking to a woman who was a friend of mine.  Though my parents were near me, I gave them no attention, and I do not even think I introduced them to my friend.  I simply was caught up in talking with my friend.  Now I never have tried to disown my parents, but maybe such bad things have taken place in a parental relationship that you want to disown a parent.  Yet God wants you to stick to the facts, even when those facts are hurtful and complicated.  Acknowledge your parent for who they are, and honor them in the Lord.

   This chapter was challenging for me to write.  There was one day when I got a rare stomach ache, and I think it was because I was getting distraught writing about honoring my parents.  I felt like if my one parent did some stuff that was wrong, how could I continue to honor that parent?  Again, honoring a parent is not being convicted your parent is a moral person or a good person or even a loving person.  Honoring a parent is respecting a parent that they gave you birth and helped to raise you.  It is as basic as that.

   Let's face it, in a divorced family, things are not right.  But that does not mean things need to keep sliding in a worse direction for you.  One common action by the son or daughter of divorced parents is to take out frustrations on parents for being divorced.  When a person ties in hurt from the divorce with day to day issues, daily interaction with a parent becomes increasingly turbulent.  If there is an appropriate opportunity to express a frustration with a parent regarding the divorce, do some talking.  But in the course of general interaction with a parent, do not put your relationship with your parent on a burner of frustrations.

   The beginning of the ‘Lord's Prayer’ was discussed in chapter two.  That prayer is a good prayer model, but praying does not involve saying the same words all of the time.  Prayer is talking to God.  I talk to God about all kinds of stuff.  In different places, at different times, God gets conversation from me.  God is the greatest friend I have, so it makes sense that I want to talk with Him often.  I encourage you to talk with God frequently.  Refrain from letting an issue swirl in your heart.  Talk about what is on your heart and mind.

   In a divorced family situation, the desires of the two parents may be in blatant contradiction with one another.  If each of your parents wants you to do something different, who do you listen too?  Try to figure out what is best that will appease both, and then set boundaries.  For an example, here was a conflict that happened for me.  When I lived with my mom, she got upset when my dad would call the house wanting to talk with me.  Quite the dilemma having one parent who wants to talk with you on the phone, and the other parent who does not want you on the phone with your other parent.  This led to me discouraging my dad from calling me at home.  But where else was he going to call me?  A good boundary would have been to have my dad call on a specific night every week.  My mom may have gotten use to that, and then my dad could have kept the calling within that time frame.  Problems are inevitable if your parents are divorced.  If you are willing to do ask God for help time after time, and if you are willing to do extra work to try and make things better, there is a potential for things to improve.

   By now you may be wondering whether God really wants parents to be honored.  This was one of the ‘Ten Commandments,’ which was part of the Mosaic Law.  The Mosaic Law was given from God through Moses within the covenant offered by God to the people of Israel (Exodus 24:7).  God stated how obedience to the Mosaic Law would result in long life and prosperity for Israelites.  During the continued history of Israel, there was never complete obedience to the Law.  That covenant need no longer be in effect, since the Messiah, Jesus, furthered the Law and fulfilled the Law, and now has His furthered moral Law applying to all people, not just Israelites.  Jeremiah gave a prophecy that would happen.

   Though people no longer need to abide by the Mosaic Law’s sacrificial commands, cleanliness laws, or civil laws, the Law furthered by Jesus includes the moral commands which we are to adhere to.  Know that if you consider the Law furthered by Jesus, you will realize that only a person enabled by the Spirit of Jesus can be obedient.  And that is indeed the call of children of God, to abide in Christ.  Because of the teaching recorded in Matthew 15:3-6, there seems to be an affirmation of morality in honoring parents.

   Now honoring your parents does not mean that you do whatever they say.  Following God’s ways brings goodness, and it is within the premise of His guidance that you should follow His command to honor your parents.  So do not engage in wrongdoing, even if a parent or parents tell you to do something wrong.  Honoring others never should involve you doing anything which is wrong.

   What if you are being abused?  If you are being abused, the loving act is to remove yourself from the abusive situation.  Allow me to support this with a Biblical explanation.  In Matthew 5:39, Jesus states that an evil person should not be resisted, and that you should turn the other check when struck.  So reading this verse, you might consider that a parent should not be resisted if they inflict physical abuse, such as beatings or sexual acts, especially if your parent loves you.  But that is not the case!  It is imperative that the words of Jesus be taken in context.  The context of the verse is the command to not take the Law into your own hands.

   The context is taken from the proceeding statement by Jesus, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth,’” which is from Exodus 21:24.  Under the covenant between God and the Israelites, certain Israelites were to judge for the adherence to the Mosaic Law, and sometimes people of the community were to carry out the punishment.  This is no longer the case!  Since even Israelites given the high responsibility of judging failed to properly judge according to God’s Law, Jesus removed people from their role of judging according to the Law (Matthew 7:1-2).  And in the passage of Matthew 5:38-39, Jesus likewise ended the responsibility of people carrying out prescribed punishments.  This fact of the shifted responsibility of judging and punishing is powerfully illustrated in John 8:1-11.

   Judgment and punishment for sins became the sole responsibility of God.  Sin always has bad spiritual and physical consequences, so God does not want us to sin.  God will carry out permanent justice, condemning those who are not redeemed by Jesus.  God is just.  Thus the context of not resisting an evil person is to refrain from personally judging and punishing, and to accept that such responsibility belongs to God.  We are to forgive and care for all people instead.  Yet caring for is not synonymous with taking abuse.

   God has sanctioned certain authority which includes judging and punishing, but not directly for sins.  Parents have certain authority over children in their youth.  And government institutions have certain authority to implement laws they have determined to be proper, judge, and carry out punishment for those citizens who “break” their laws.  But they are not directly judging for sins.  I add that governmental laws that are counter to the teachings of Jesus, the Messiah, should not be followed, since they are not in good conscience, a key word in Romans 13:5!  For example, that is why a Christian can give out Bibles in a country were doing so is illegal, because Jesus gave the command to teach people what He commanded, which is recorded in the Bible.

   God is the only One to judge for sins, and He will.  The context of Christ’s command in Matthew 5:39 indicates that a human is to forgo revenge and allow God to carry out justice.  No human is supposed to take personal revenge!  Not common is the world, is it?  That is why the commands of Jesus, when carefully interpreted, are not ridiculous, yet they are radical.  So forgo revenge, yet get out of the line of abuse!

   Regarding specific ways of reacting to people who treat us wrongly, God’s guidance is needed in each individual case.  What is ridiculous for a child of God is doing what God knows is bad.  God wants you to take care of yourself in a reasonable manner.  Not to do so is bad.  God does not want a person living in a line of abuse, because that is the opposite of taking care of yourself.  Also God wants good for a person committing abuse, and the first step is for them to stop doing what is wrong.  Therefore, if you are a person who is currently being abused, you need God’s guidance of the appropriate manner to get help.

   No solution may seem possible, but asking God to guide you and enable you to talk to someone you trust is a step that is always available.  Maybe you even need to talk with someone you trust if you are simply confused about things.  And if you were abused in the past, now is the time to start talking to God about that.  So the summary on this topic of abuse is that Jesus does not want abuse taking place.  His guidance is needed.

   So what is the summary of this difficult topic of honoring parents?  Like all people, all parents sin.  For some parents, their behavior is horrible.  Yet God wants what is best for you and your parents, because He loves everyone, and God sanctioned parenthood.  Depending on God to honor actually brings blessings to you.  Such dependence on Him means that you can honor your parents for who they are, aside from what they have done or are doing.

   I do not want to give an unrealistic message!  There may still be major struggles in a relationship with a parent or parents, or there may still be little or no contact with a parent or parents.  Or a parent or parents may consistently do wrongs, and you will not respect their actions.  And though depending on God, you may not always recognize improvement in relationships.  The dynamics of your physical family could get worse, yet that family mess will not be your responsibility or your future!

   Jesus gave an analogy in Luke 12:52-53 showing that His mission on earth was not to force the unification of earthly family members.  Love cannot be forced.  The mission of Jesus was to provide the way for people to be united with God.  Jesus said that division would take place in families specifically because of Him, as some family members would turn to Him, while others would turn away from Him.  So a person who follows Jesus is going to know a unique strife in this world, which may include challenges and disappointments with family relationships aside from divorce.  In this world, a child of God must accept some suffering for God, but know that suffering for God serves a good purpose.  And within the suffering, a person who follows Jesus has true love in the present, and great things in the future, which leads to the last chapter.

My Parents Are Divorced - Chapter 5 - Love

Chapter Five:   LOVE

   Have you ever been really thirsty?  I once was hiking on the Appalachian Trail on an extremely hot day in North Carolina, and I was thirsty.  When I arrived at a place where there was supposed to be a creek according to my map, there was none.  I kept hiking, having no water.  My map indicated there was another stream a few miles up the trail.  I considered if that stream was dry then I would be in serious trouble.  I hiked with hope.  I reached that stream, and it was flowing fine.  I swiftly filled up my water bottle, and then I put an iodine tablet in it to purify the water.  After waiting an agonizing fifteen minutes for the tablet to dissolve, I chugged that quart of water straight down.  I needed that water.  For spiritual life, you need true love.  If you were dropped in the middle of a wilderness, your first goal would be to journey until you found water.  On our journey in this world, the Person with true love has come to us.

   All people were and are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), thus people need love for eternal life.  God is the ultimate and primary source of true love.  Scripture states, as recorded in I John 4:8, “…God is love.”  This is not only stated in the Bible, yet also shown in the Bible by the death of Jesus on the cross which was done because He loves people.  Now some search for true love in this world from people.  People can give love, but they themselves need to receive it before they can give it, and no person besides Jesus has loved his or her fellow human beings perfectly in this world.  I claim that all people need love, and the Bible reveals that God is offering love to everyone.

   Once I was driving down Wadsworth Boulevard in Arvada, Colorado, near 60th street.  Sitting at a stoplight, I read the bumper sticker on the car in front of me: “Jesus loves you whether you like it or not.”  Not a caring Christian bumper sticker.  Yes Jesus does love everyone, but a person has a choice of whether to receive His love, and I do not think a cynical bumper sticker is helping promote the love of Jesus.  Yet it got me thinking, why is it that if Jesus loves everyone, that some reject His love?

   Obviously we would probably get different answers from different people who do not believe in Jesus. Yet a key deduction I made after thinking about my question is that some people do not want to change.  Receiving love will change a person!  If anyone receives Jesus, they will be changed, a consequence of their choice.  Now the change in the heart of people who receive the love of Christ is good!  Jesus brings good change to a soul!

   Now love cannot be forced on someone.  In fact, trying to force love on someone of-ten causes them to draw back.  When people have tried to pressure me to receive anything, I have often drawn back, thinking that if what they had is so great then they would not need to pressure me to take it.  But that is not what God does.  God’s love is simply offered before you.  His love is like a cup of water extended before you.  You must accept the full cup, lift it before your lips, open up your mouth, and drink.

   A commitment is necessary.  Think of the statement, “I love you.”  There are two individuals, one bonded to the other by love.  But if there is not a commitment from both, there is no relationship of love.  The bond must go both ways.  For a person who commits to God, she or he joins in with God's complete commitment to a permanent loving relationship.  Receiving God's love changes a person and ever increases his or her commitment.  The more God changes us, the more we can be in Love.

   So what is the realm of living in Love?  Jesus, getting to the core of the Mosaic Law when teaching Israelites, taught we are to love God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind, and that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves, as is recorded in Matthew 22:37-39.  Is this impossible?  This is possible if you have the love of God!  Having the love of Jesus, we are capable of loving God and people.  If you love someone, you want the best for him or her.  Also, you care about that person, and you are willing to share with that person.

   Loving God involves worshiping Him, because He is Love among all of His other attributes.  Giving Him our best is glorifying Him, the One who is Holy.  Interaction with Him is constantly possible.  And worship includes praising and thanking God, listening to and learning from Him, sharing concerns and hopes, and feeding from Him in the heart.  Serving God is a way of loving God.  Whenever a person does God’s will, that person is loving God, because God’s will is always good.  Jesus makes this extremely clear in John 14:21.  Doing the will of God is living by His true love.  This is easy for me to write, yet loving God is not some-thing I have ever done perfectly.  We human beings have problems, and to be enabled to love God is a growing process of learning to rely on Him.  I do love Jesus, and living by His love, there have been oodles of blessings, even blessings I have not even realize in these past years.

   What about loving people?  I propose the reason there is so much pain, tragedy, and despair in this world is because of people failing to love other people.  I am simply going to touch on three things about loving people.  First, in the midst of so much tragedy in the world, the love of Jesus is radical, because He is not only saying you should love your family, or people in your neighborhood, or people in your country.  Jesus states you should love all human beings.  Jesus went so far as to teach that you must love your enemies, as recorded in Matthew 5:44.  Yes I am serious.

   Back to what I said earlier in this chapter, we must rely on the love of God to be enabled to do this.  And loving enemies often involves is doing what I said in the previous chapter; we must forgive.  A huge problem in Christian “church” history is that certain Christians, or people who claimed to be followers of Jesus, have hated their enemies.  There has even been hate by Christians against Christians with different beliefs.  Now I am not saying that we Christians, in loving people, are supposed to succumb to the false views of other people.  Quite the opposite.  I love people, thus I want them to know the truth about Jesus.  I love people, so I want to correct them concerning their false and thus harmful beliefs.  I was reminded in a sermon yesterday that Paul even rebuked people in some churches for having wrong beliefs or doing wrong stuff.  Never approve of anything a person is doing that is wrong, because doing so is not loving the person.

   If a child is about to run in a street to get a soccer ball, I yell for the kid to stop so that she will not be hit by a car, because I care about that child.  It is actually an act of love to warn someone when they are doing something sinful so they will not get hurt.  Yet hating a person is always wrong.  Do remember that we are to always tell the truth in love.  Love does require caring for the best for all people.  Think of someone you really dislike. Would you hug that person if you had an opportunity to this day?  That is the radical love of Jesus Christ.

   Secondly, loving other people is not necessarily dramatic to your peers.  It can be dramatic.  Jesus died for people giving love that human beings would not even have been capable of giving.  And there have been people who have died because of their devotion to Jesus.  Yet loving God and loving people should be done every single day here on earth even if it does not seem so sacrificial.  The extent of the sacrifice is not the issue; the issue is acting in love.  Some of your peers may not think much of your loving ways.  Yet God knows, and you will know, when you are truly loving people!  I remember listening to a janitor in an elementary school saying how he knew when he cleaned up milk which had been spilled by elementary students that he was carrying out an act of love to Jesus.  And I know it was also an act of love to the students.

   I will give you an example of everyday love from my dad.  When I was in college, after a holiday break, my dad drove me back to my university.  I had stayed up late the night before working on a paper.  Soon after we started out on the drive, I fell asleep.  When I woke up, we were already approaching the campus.  My dad had driven for four and a half hours without getting any company from me, and then he had to drive all the way back alone.  Yet he was simply glad that he could get me to where I needed to be.  That is what I call an act of love.

   Thirdly, in a chapter entitled “Love,” I am not going to leave out the subject of romantic love.  I am single, and I have long wanted to be married.  My unusual ministry calling has resulted in singleness for a longer period than I ever would have imagined years ago, yet I still hope to be married one day.  Often weeks and weeks before Valentine’s Day, I look at the Valentine’s gifts in a store, considering what I would buy if I had a girlfriend.  I have probably done more Valentine’s Day window shopping than people who have purchased Valentine’s Day gifts for their wives for years.  That is a bit disheartening for me.  In spite of lack of romance, I am still convinced God cares about romantic relationships.

   One blessing for me still being single is that God has been making me a better person; a person more able to love.  When I get married, I will be a better husband than if I would have been married ten years ago, because I will be more prepared.  If you are single, allow God to prepare you to be a great husband or wife, and when the time comes, you will be ready for blessings galore.  And if you are married now, know that your marriage can keep improving as you, and hopefully your spouse, rely on God.  Being someone who was hurt by my parent’s divorce, one thing I did not realize is that when you get married, there is the possibility to continue to improve as individuals and to grow in goodness as a couple.  No married couples are perfect.  What married couples are in for is much work, since a relationship requires work.  Yet what fruit can result from devoting yourself to improving your marriage relationship.  You will be a better spouse as you grow in your dependence on Jesus.

   Even in the years since I first started this book, the culture has been rapidly shifting to a preoccupation with you know what.  On television, the Internet, and in music, that three letter word is a consistent obsession.  I once heard someone say sex is the greatest expression of love.  Scripture states in John 15:13 that laying down your life is the greatest gift of love.  And that is precisely what Jesus did for us sinful people.  In my years of following Jesus, one truth I have come to realize more and more is that we sinful people have a tendency to go after things of the world to try and fill the need of love.  They end up being no substitute.  Sex is one of the big pursuits in our culture now that birth control and pornography are readily available.  The culture in America at this time is that sex outside of marriage can bring happiness.  Yet sex is not the same thing as love.  That is the reason a person can have much sex and yet be getting worse in their heart.  God clearly teaches in Scripture that sex is to be an expression of love in marriage.  The ignorance of His way is not resulting in people being more happy.  The ignorance of His way is resulting in much hurt.

   Do you want to have great sex?  Then go for such God’s way.  He created sex to be an act of love within the commitment of marriage.  God wants making love as a part of the love and romance in marriage.  True love begins and is maintained by relying on God, and great romance begins and is maintained with living in the love of God.  The end result can be great.

   The summary is that children of God, who are followers of Jesus, are called by God to love Him and to love people.  Loving Jesus always means remaining in His will, which is perfectly good.   In loving people, the interaction will vary in each relationship.  Maybe loving someone at the grocery store this week will involve simply smiling at the person behind a counter and saying "God bless you," in a sincerity of the heart.

   I have said much about love, yet nothing about parents.  To be completely open, I sometimes even find loving my parents hard.  There have been hurts in the past, especially surrounding the divorce, and my parents have done things since the divorce I thought were wrong.  Yet thanks to God’s love, I love Dad, and I love Mom.  Especially with one of my parents, there have been numerous struggles in our relationship.  There have been times when I know that Jesus was "carrying me."  Yet if you rely on God's love, you can love your parents, even if you do not have much interaction with one or both!

   Just as I said above that loving people does not mean approving of their actions, loving parents does not mean you approve of their wrong actions.  Any wrongdoing by a parent or parents is definitely wrong.  And a parent does not have to realize his or her actions are inflicting hurt in order for it to be wrong.   God loves your parents.  God hates wrongdoing.  And you are not responsible for the sins of your parent or parents.  Whatever a parent has done, responsibility is not in the hands of a child.  Do know that your parents are responsible before God like everyone else.  They will be accountable to Him for their own actions.

   Do know divorce is not a sin if carried out for reasons permitted by Christ, since Christ did give grounds for divorce.  The ground for divorce stated by Jesus Christ is unfaithfulness.  Unfaithfulness is a wrongdoing fostered in the heart which leads to wrong actions. What is going on in people’s hearts cannot always be clearly known by people and is not for a human to judge.  The prime instance of unfaithfulness is when a spouse has sex with someone other than their spouse.  However, a number of students of the Bible think the word unfaithfulness encompasses even more than that, and I agree.  Abuse is another example of unfaithfulness.

   So not a sin itself, divorce is a consequence of sin.  Since it is a consequence of sin, God hates divorce as is stated in Malachi 2:16.  A married person takes a vow to love his or her spouse.  To the contrary, wrong actions hurt a spouse.  Since God loves people and wants what is best for them, He hates wrongful actions and the consequences of such wrong, which are always bad.  So this sound complicated, but the bottom line is that God does not want parents doing wrong because He loves them!

   Be relieved you can love your parents and still acknowledge that wrongdoings took place.  Often the majority of the wrongdoings that led to divorce are the result of decisions by only one parent, yet whatever the details of your parent’s divorce, which you may not even know, you can still acknowledge the hurt resulting from the act of divorce. Everyone in a family gets hurt by a divorce.  You can disdain the act of divorce.  And you can stay out of the problems of your parents as much as possible.  Loving your parents is what is taking place in your heart, not what is taking place in their life.  Know that God loves your parents, and rely on Him to love your parents.  Loving parents need not stifle your present or future.

   Loving a parent always involves hoping he or she will receive the love of Jesus as their Savior and Lord if they are not followers of Jesus.  The method is going to be unique for every person, though do not use that bumper sticker I quoted at the beginning of this chapter.  Yet love your parents by witnessing to them the love of Jesus in a way that fits your gifts.  And if you have zero contact with a parent, say a prayer for that parent every once in a while.

   Speaking of witnessing about Jesus, in Matthew 12:46-50, Jesus was talking to people in a house, and someone told Him that His mother and brothers were outside and that they wanted to talk with Him.  Rather than rushing out to talk with them, Jesus made the point of who His eternal family is.  His eternal family is the people who turn to the Father in heaven. Though family trees are temporary like every other physical thing in this world, God is concerned with our physical families.  But becoming bogged down in the problems of parents does not help anyone.  We are called to love all people, and that includes members of families, of whom each has a soul.  Loving family members who have hurt you, even if you never get to talk with him or her, is a miracle of God's love.