Alienation

   I like music.  I have seen some incredible concerts in the past 45 years.  My mom says that I liked music when I was young.  Early on in elementary school, I went to my first concert with my family, which was my mom's all time favorite artist, John Denver.  I would see him seven more times in my life.  Yet most of the concerts I have seen were "rock" groups, and I have seen many great rock performers in concert.  Two that I never got to see that I would still like to see are Paul McCartney and Boston.  As a Christian, I have seen many great Christian concerts.  I am especially a Rebecca St. James fan.  Yet I still enjoy "classic rock," though I'm careful about my song selection.  I try not listen to songs that are raunchy, confusing, or vindictive.
   I like a variety of music, yet in some ways, the music I like is a part of my personal expression.  When I was in high school, I was spiritually struggling.  And I look back and realize there were problems in my family that would eventually lead to my parents getting a divorce.  As opposed to music that I liked when I was younger which was more cheery and fun, like the Cars and Paul McCartney, I started really getting into Pink Floyd music.  In retrospect, I think my feelings of alienation, due to spiritual struggles, along with being in a family that was coming apart, resonated with the alientation that Pink Floyd expressed.  After years of listening to their music, I got the opportunity to see Pink Floyd in concert,  minus Rogers Waters, in early summer after my junior year at Virginia Tech, in June of 1988.  I was excited.  I thought David Gilmour was a great guitarist, and I was seeing one of "my" bands.
   The concert was at RFK in Washington, D.C., and as was the case for the majority of concerts I attended, I went alone.  I was sitting in the second tier, but I was over on a far side, so I was not a mile from the stage, and there were few people around me.  I really got into the show, and the performance was top notch.  Now normally when I went to D.C., I took the subway, but for that evening I had asked my mom to take her car for some reason.  I was unfamilier with that part of town, and upon leaving the parking lot of R.F.K., I was on a road which I did not recognize at all.  Yet I have a good sense for direction, and I figure I would detect where I was soon, and get on a road in the correct direction.  A local rock radio station was playing an old Pink Floyd album due to the hometown concert, and so I had that music on as I headed for home.  Driving to the instrumental music, which was kind of eeire, I ended up getting so lost that I was driving down in an area of town where I was totally turned around, and the weirdest part was that all of the stoplights were blinking yellow as the eeire Pink Floyd music whined.  I was lost.
   I use this as a metaphor for the fact that at that time, I was spiritually lost as well.  I was not living by the love of a loving God, rather I was doing what seemed sensible, but it was not bringing love.  I was not getting healing in the wake of my parent's separation after 21 years of marriage.  I was hurting deep down in my heart.  I needed love, even if I did not fully realize it.
    I will tell you, I enjoy music, and even more, I enjoy singing.  Yet sooth or excite as it does, music never brought me love.  God gives true love.  You may not go to oodles of concerts alone like I did.  You may not share hurts with the lyricists in rock bands like I did.  Yet if you are void of the love of God, my heart yearns to say that if you believe in Jesus, you will be forgiven of your wrongdoings, and the Love of God will come into your heart.  It may not be as noticeable as the rush from hearing your favorite song.  Yet your heart will begin to know it.  Jesus came to save those who are lost, and I am grateful that He saved me.
God is love.
Hunter